Am I that bad?

Sorry, but I just can’t stop thinking about it. Different reason, same bat on the bell tower…

I read something ugly, something shocking, and all I can think about is how to get that little girl to understand it as I do… Because in my twisted mind, I now that this is a good start; it’s better for her to know this right now, and not learning it the hard way some years from now.

When the judgement is about the kind of person I am, I always play to lose, because I know not just what I have done, but what I want to do. And in moments like this, when I’m also thinking about spreading this _______ to someone else, I can only think even worse about me.

Maybe I’m really one of those people… I know that I would like to be. But no, I’m not… I’m just… dumb… in a different way.

Why I’m a writing this rant anyway? I guess that my mood hasn’t improved so much since Friday.

Again, meh. I’m getting tired of this noise in the head. Time to, again, try to sleep and vent some of this in my dreams.

I hope I can write one of this rants in French by the end of the year… That would be a great goal. C’est dommage que je ne sais pas plus français, but I guess nine months is a reasonable amount of time to learn enough to write a little rant like this. We’ll see.


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